It's Not a Sin to Miss a Session
The majority of tabletop RPG players I've talked to who used to play when they were kids refer to that time wistfully, with a twinkle of a tear in their eye. It's the tragedy of aging and moving through stages of life that when you're young, you have all the time in the world but as you age that time gets eaten up by other commitments and we have to face what is colloquially referred to as the Big Bad Evil Guy (BBEG) of Tabletop RPGs (TTRPGs): scheduling.
Does it have to be that way? How can we plan our tabletop RPG groups to be resilient while also removing any shame or stigma from players having to miss a session due to an unforeseen conflict or even a planned conflict? What is the value in planning our groups in a way that expects cancellations, rather than in a way that is shut down by a cancellation?
How can we capacity plan our tabletop RPG groups?
The first hard truth I found myself having to accept as I continued to organize groups to play campaigns of tabletop RPGs after graduating college is this:
Not Every Player Will Make Every Session
It's a hard pill to swallow. What if they miss out on their chance to shine? What if the GM doesn't know how to balance the session, or which characters to feature the backstory of if they don't know who will make it to the session from week to week?
In my mind, neither of these concerns stack up to the core killer of tabletop RPG campaigns: gridlock. What I mean by gridlock is a stoppage of sessions that happen, causing a cycle of cancelled session after cancelled session. This is wormwood to the tabletop RPG group, poisonous and necrotic.
How can we avoid this situation? I recommend when choosing how many people to allow in your tabletop RPG group, ideate your ideal number of players, and add 2 on top of that. My personal ideal number of players at the table is 4 + 1 GM, so my campaign groups are normally 6 + 1 GM strong. Planning as if at least one player will miss each session makes your group more resilient and more adaptable.
Mike Shea (slyflourish) recommends having a core group of players at the ideal number that you'd like to run for, and finding one to three other players who are less able to commit to the campaign to keep as "on call" players, where you'd reach out to them if some of the regular group has to miss that session. I personally have a hard time seeing this working without feelings of resentment, as it creates sort of a caste system of players.
I also think it's important to know when to throw in the towel for a particular TTRPG group. For a monthly game, two consecutive cancelled sessions is the death knell at which I'll step back from the group. For a biweekly game, two consecutive cancelled sessions is also the magic number for me to step back. For a weekly game, three cancelled sessions is my limit at which I step back from the group. Keeping true to these lines sets an expectation, and as always I'm able to provide more latitude for a group where the cancelled sessions are expected.
How can we ensure as best as we can that the player characters feel balanced?
Progression and advancement varies from system to system, but one overarching trope I've noticed amongst damn near every system I've played or run is that a player must be at the table to gain the XP. This is tough for players who have to miss sessions more often, not to mention the downstream consequence of that player's character falling behind in total XP gained. Most GMs I've seen who encounter this problem tend to handwave it and penalize progression.
I'm not sure this is the right approach. From my experience, generally players don't want the XP from a session they had to miss, but I think it's important to give players who've had to miss a session or two some sort of mechanically incentivized way to contribute to the campaign while gaining some of the XP or other type of progression.
For this purpose, I invite players who have missed a session to create a session writeup for the next session they make it back. What I'm looking for here is a short summation from their character's perspective of what they've seen and done so far on their journey. I don't give them a prompt, and I tell them they can write about whatever they'd like.
By them submitting this writeup, I do 2 things to help myself out as I GM:
- I invite players to subconsciously mention what about the session they enjoyed, engaged with, and remembered. This is great because the player is literally indicating what from the session you ran worked for them and what didn't.
- The players are the ones keeping the notes of what's happening during the session, which frees me up from having to do a writeup myself or give myself notes so I can recall, while also bringing the player more into actively engaging with and remembering the setting and the adventure.
How can we create a culture of consistency while giving people space to tend to their lives as needed?
A trick I've found to be especially effective as I get marketing materials together, advertise for, and obtain a tabletop RPG group is I specify the following about the kind of game I plan on running:
- The frequency - whether we meet weekly, biweekly, or monthly
- The length - how long I expect sessions to last
- The location - this could be general to start, and I like to meet new players in a public place first
- The time - what time of day we meet, and on what day we meet
I find setting these benchmarks before you start recruiting can go a long way to clearly indicate to folks some baseline expectations for the campaign to know if it's potentially up their alley or not. I find this works much better than nebulously saying things like "We'll meet on a day that works well for everyone", because I find that language hard to work with especially when dealing with strangers.
If you lead the charge in the effort of making sure the session makes even if players have to miss, that helps keep people engaged and creates a culture of consistency. If the other members of the group see you working hard to make sure the game happens consistently, then they feel more justified lending their time and effort to make that happen as well.
Most importantly though, tabletop RPG groups are full of people, and people go through rough patches and have sudden emergencies. It is of utmost importance to trust people when they tell you why they're missing a session, not to judge them for missing a session, and reaffirm with them that you enjoy playing in the same group as them and look forward to seeing them again next time.
Why does it matter anyways?
Ultimately the tabletop RPG hobby is held together by these small tabletop RPG groups. The more resilient, consistent, and survivable each of these groups are, the better it is for the games they choose to play and for the hobby as a whole.
More consistent groups of tabletop RPG players means more GMs having space to hone their craft means more designers getting inspired by playing the games around the table leads to a virtuous cycle in our hobby. Weathering the storms brought on by moving through different stages of life while keeping together the TTRPG group leads to lifelong friendships and strong relationships built around our shared hobby.